"You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free."-Thich Nhat Hanh
A friend of mine posted this quote on facebook. My immediate reaction was a confused "Hunh? How can one person's love be responsible for making another feel free???" I was very confused. A different friend attempted to explain it to me, using more paragraphs and the concrete examples that I need to understand things. She spoke of the need to love someone as he or she is, to take people as they are and not try to change them, and to support them in what they do. Ohhhh
That makes sense to me, though I would probably phrase it as "to love someone, first you have to accept they are free." I don't think it's possible to love someone without understanding their flaws, those quirks that make up who they are. And beyond the flaws are those things that are just different. Not flaws, but also not characteristics or choices or feelings that you would select for them. I tend to think of love as that space where you accept who a person is and still hold them closely in your heart.
But I also wonder what it would mean for my love to help a person feel free. What would that look like? Would that be my reaching out to help a person remove the barriers that pin them? Is this referring to a type of agape love, rooted in social justice? Is this about helping a person to open up with themselves and recognize their inherent beauty and power?
A friend of mine posted this quote on facebook. My immediate reaction was a confused "Hunh? How can one person's love be responsible for making another feel free???" I was very confused. A different friend attempted to explain it to me, using more paragraphs and the concrete examples that I need to understand things. She spoke of the need to love someone as he or she is, to take people as they are and not try to change them, and to support them in what they do. Ohhhh
That makes sense to me, though I would probably phrase it as "to love someone, first you have to accept they are free." I don't think it's possible to love someone without understanding their flaws, those quirks that make up who they are. And beyond the flaws are those things that are just different. Not flaws, but also not characteristics or choices or feelings that you would select for them. I tend to think of love as that space where you accept who a person is and still hold them closely in your heart.
But I also wonder what it would mean for my love to help a person feel free. What would that look like? Would that be my reaching out to help a person remove the barriers that pin them? Is this referring to a type of agape love, rooted in social justice? Is this about helping a person to open up with themselves and recognize their inherent beauty and power?
To me, it reminds of the irony that lifelong commitment is actually freeing. Surrender to it and be free. Nutty love.
ReplyDeleteInteresting. (Speaking from a completely hypothetical place,) I can see that.
ReplyDelete